I am back

Well, here I am again after som time away from the blogosphere.

It seems like a lot can happen in just a few days, though doesn't it. We had our weekly life group last night and it is interesting to watch people grow and change as time goes by. It is amazing to me the growth that we have seen in not just the size of the group (we had 28 last night), but at how people are really starting to catch on to this New Testament style church. We had some people last night commenting on how they have really seen how God has answered prayer in the last few weeks, from deathly ill family members who miraclously got better, to tragic accidents that could have and should have been fatal or at the very least crippling for life. Yet after people have sincerely prayed both situations drastically improved and left the hospital even more quickly than the doctors could have guessed.

It is amazing to me how sometimes we go through a season of doubt, and even question God. Sometimes who he is or what his agenda really is. Sometimes the more I really think about God, heaven, and what he wants, or even knowing what he wants, really messes me up. It makes my brain hurt. But I love the questions, I love to dialogue with people who are intelligent and who have sincere questions are examining God from an intellectual standpoint. As americans we often just react emotionally and then have to pay the consequences later, only to find out we jumped to soon and look like a fool. But I really enjoy the struggle of finding out what we really believe. I have struggled and prayed and thought and focused through everything I believe today. It hasnt been easy, and sometimes it left me doubting everything I have thought or believed, but today I am stronger for it. I know what I believe and I am able to discuss it with anyone with out "coping out"by saying well it is just my religion.

I sometimes feel that struggle is something God allows us to go through just to know him better as we know ourselves better. I firmly believe that if we have doubt it is ok. The disciples had doubt all the time. After the ressurection when the 10 of them (minus judas and thomas) stood before him they were terrified and didnt really believe. Here they were right in the presence of a living Jesus, but they couldnt really capture who he was. The wanted to believe but they just werent all the way there. Ever been there before? You might have some faith, and you want to beleive with your heart, yet your mind just wont let you get there?

Read the story about the man with the demonized son in Mark 9:21-24. read here (copy the text and paste it in the box). Listen especially to what the man says. It is a beautiful statement of imperfect faith mingled with doubt. He really wanted to believe but he just couldnt get his mind wrapped around it....

We all have been there, but I love the verse in John 20:29
"Jesus said, "So, you believe because you've seen with your own eyes. Even better blessings are in store for those who believe without seeing."

That is us today... beleiving with out seeing. What a concept.